8 ways to a deeper relationship with God

Hey blog readers! Okay, so I am going to first update everyone on my current amazing life. I did it. I moved home. I am living in Knoxville, Tennessee again. I always said "Never again" but just like Justin Bieber says, "Never say never." I had been confused about where I was supposed to go and the Lord gently let me know it was okay to go home. So here I am!! God made a perfect way for me. I found the perfect subletter who happened to be a strong man who helped me load up my uhaul, and he did it with a total positive attitude the whole time. He wanted to help. I drove a Uhaul with my car attached to the back about 20 hours back to Knoxville. I had an apartment complex chosen that I loved and prayed that something would be open. I kept calling and someone answered the phone. Finally. She said that someone had just canceled their move in and that it was their only open apartment and I could move in the next day. HELLO GOD! I don't believe in coincidence, especially when too many happen, but I do believe in God. I am all cozy in my perfect apartment and can't wait to spend many mornings and days in the presence of our Lord thanking Him for all his goodness.

Okay, so several people have let me know over the past month that they admire my relationship with our Lord and I want to help you guys get there. First of all, I want to say that I personally am still striving to be as close to him as possible and will be my entire life. He is just that amazing. You want to hear his voice and get to a place of peace in your life, even when everything sucks? Ok. Good. Keep reading.

1. Spend time with Him. This seems really simple but it's not. The devil doesn't want you to get close to God. There will be a million distractions. Shut yourself off from the world and really spend time with Him. Devotionals are great but 5 minutes a day is not going to bring you to a closer walk with God. Any relationship takes quality time to develop into a strong relationship. If you only spent five minutes a day with your boyfriend, would that be a relationship? NO. And the same things goes for God.

2. Turn off your phone. Get alone. Go to the woods. Do whatever you have to do to not get distracted. I love facebook and instagram. But even I sometimes find myself looking at them, when five minutes ago I was reading my Bible and spending time with God. Stay focused.

3. Worship Him. Put on some music that will invite the Holy Spirit into the room. Personally, I love Bethel music. Sing your heart out to God and really means the words you are saying. Close your eyes and let him speak to you.

4. Get out a pen and paper. Ask God what he sees in you. Start writing what comes in your head. You will be able to pursue a relationship with the Lord more efficiently if you know what he sees in you. I know in previous relationships with people, if I know that they love me and the things they love about me, I want to be with those people and spend time with them. I have gotten in the habit of writing and asking things from the Lord and have many wonderful words from God written down in my journal. These are always nice to look through when you are having a rough day and will remind you that God is with you and never leaves you.

5. Obey Him. Are there hidden 'sins' in your life? Do you do things in secret that you think no one will see? Well God sees and knows all. He knows the condition of your heart and sin separates us from Him. So take a deep look inside and make sure you are doing everything you can to obey his commandments. If I ever feel far away from God, I always bring myself to a place of humbleness and ask God if there is anything that is keeping me from being close to God.

6. Serve others. I never feel closer to God than when I am being a servant. Get involved in your church outreach program. Or be a youth volunteer. Or find some clothes to donate. Or encourage someone. Do it for the right reasons and watch how much God's spirit flows in you when you are putting other people before yourself. Why are you so happy when volunteering? Because Jesus himself was a servant and you are more like Him when serving.

7. Watch your relationships with the opposite sex. I am a daughter of God. And I am head over heels in love with Jesus. I will not date a man or spend time with a man who does not love Jesus too. Going to church doesn't count. Yes, he should go to church but there are a lot of people who go to church who do not have a personal relationship with God. I want a man who leads me and he can't do that very well if he doesn't know where he is leading me. Sure, he can lead you to a bar or sex or an inappropriate conversation but find a man who will lead you to a deeper relationship with God. That's the kind of man I want be the father of my children someday. And you should too. Anyone who isn't leading you to God is leading you away. Pursue God and he will send you the right man.

8. Open your eyes. Take a walk. Open your ears. God is everywhere. There is not one place you can go that he is not there. He speaks in more than one way. Nature is often a way the Lord speaks to my heart but can also in a persons confirming word or in the Bible when scripture seems to be the exact thing I needed to read that day. Look for Him. And then don't be quick to take what he is trying to tell you for granted. Receive it.

I hope these tips help you get to a deeper walk with our Lord. Press into Him. Let Him be the love of your life. Worship and praise Him for everything he has done in your life.Can't wait to hear the stories of how God is moving in your lives!

Fear or Believe

I am terrified this evening. I have been crying most of the night as I get ready to go back to Texas tomorrow. I don't want to leave but I know I have to go back and face my fears. Just for a recap, I moved to San Antonio to pursue a relationship which unexpectedly ended. I have been in Tennessee for the past three weeks letting my heart heal but I have to go back to reality. I have a lease in San Antonio and have committed to being there. Just now I am doing it alone. My heart hurts. It was hard to leave San Antonio and I fear every mile closer to Texas will be even harder as I feel I am driving towards a empty place where I have nothing. I am scared. I am broken. I am empty. Never in my life have I been more confused about what I am supposed to do with my life. The pressure to figure it all out is overwhelming and I just want to scream!

Anyone else ever had the rug ripped out from underneath you? People walked out of your life who you loved? Lost a family member, job, or maybe you did something to push someone away. You are left with a feeling of loneliness and confusion. Where do I go? What do I do? How about that you feel so alone that even when you cry out to God, all you hear is silence? You feel like even He has left you.

I have a lot of fear right now about the unknown but one thing I have to count on cause I don't have much left at this point is that God's promises are true. He keeps his Word. I have never had a moment in my life that I can look back on and say God wasn't standing there with me. If we fail to see Him, could it be we have taken our focus off what is important and looked so much at our problems, we don't see our God is so much bigger than our problems?

Here is my challenge to anyone who is fearful for what is ahead- Every time a fear or doubt tries to creep it's way into our heads this week, let's recognize them for what they are: LIES. And let's fight back with truth. Open up your Bible and start quoting scripture back to your fears. Your God will never leave you nor forsake you. He has plans for you. Plans that are good and not evil. He has chosen you. You are a child of the most high God. His love will never ever fail. He fights for you. Nothing is impossible for those who love Him. Truth always overcomes lies. Jesus always wins.

Dear God,

 Thank you for always keeping your promises. Help me to keep my eyes on you this week and to fight lies with Your truth. I love you and am so thankful for everything you do. Amen.

BEAUTIFULLY BROKEN

I am writing today with tears streaming down my face. I didn't want to share something so personal but I know God wants me to so here it goes. 

I lost someone last week who I didn't want to say goodbye to.. someone who decided their life would be better without me in it. And honestly, I never really thought it would happen. Sometimes, life really isn't a fairytale and is actually very painful. The pain from a broken heart is excruciating. I have no idea how anyone gets through it without Jesus. My heart physically hurts.

But there is one thing that happens in the midst of my pain that I wouldn't trade for anything. I become more aware of his presence moving in my life. My Savior reaches down and he picks me up. He tells me it is all going to work out for his glory. He says that I sow in tears for blessings. He promises that he knows the plans for me and that there is hope. There really is no place I would rather be even if it hurts this bad.

Our God is a God who promises that His love never fails. My heart in this moment is just a glimpse of what Jesus' heart felt like as the people He loved nailed Him to a cross. My heart breaks just thinking of how he must have felt and how I have sometimes made him feel this way. Our God loved us so much he came down to earth as a human so he could give us a better way. A human with real emotions and feelings. Joy, anger, jealousy, and yes, sorrow. He knows what we feel. So lay it on Him. He doesn't want you to have to carry your burdens. It's too heavy and exhausting.

 So here is what I say to anyone who is hurting right now. He knows what you feel. He cries watching you cry. He hurts when you hurt. The pain will not last forever. It does get easier. Let yourself heal and take JOY in your King. Your heart is safe in His arms. The wrong person leaving your life gives way to the right person. God sees faithfulness. He will honor your faithfulness. God has a plan for you. It doesn't include anyone who can't see what a precious treasure you are as the daughter of the most high King. Jesus loves you more than you can ever imagine. He loves you more than any human on earth could ever love you. Let him love you. Let him reach deep into those broken places and make something beautiful out of this mess. He makes beautiful things out of broken things. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He is your constant. If you want a real love story, know that a man was thinking of you as he was nailed to a cross. And His love was so strong, the grave can't even conquer it. Isn't that what we all want? A love that death can't even stop it. Remember Princess Bride of Christ, you are royalty and you have amazing things coming your way. Only the best will do for a Queen.

Dear God,
I need you more than ever right now. I am hurt. I come to you with a broken heart and ask that you heal it and make it better than before. Help me learn from my past. I pray for the person who hurt me. I forgive them and I pray that you have your hand on them just like you have it on me. God, let your peace overcome me and help me to use this to propel me into what you have called me to do. I love you and thank you for always being my constant. I love you. Amen.

Truth

Good morning! So I am going to do something new and just encourage the heck out of y'all. Lately, I have been more than attacked with feelings of unworthiness and being unloved. But guess what? The devil is a big fat liar. Because anything that God doesn't say about you isn't the truth but is in fact a lie so here are some lies that we get fed along the way and scripture we can use to fight the enemy.

LIE # 1  - YOU ARE NOT LOVED. NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU.

Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with everlasting kindness."

LIE # 2- YOUR LIFE IS A HUGE MESS AND YOU WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope."

LIE # 3-  KEEP HIDING, IF THEY SAW WHAT YOU REALLY ARE, THEY COULDN'T POSSIBLE LOVE YOU.

Psalm 139 "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

LIE # 4- YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORN, YOU ARE A FAILURE AND WOULD BE BETTER OFF NEVER ALIVE.

Psalm 139 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

LIE # 5- NO ONE CHOOSES YOU. NO ONE WILL EVER WANT YOU.

John 15:16 "You did not choose me, but I chose you. 

LIE # 6- YOU AREN'T EVEN WORTH PURSUING.

Hosea 2:14 "Therefore I am not going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." 

We serve an amazing, kind, compassionate God. He is never failing and pursues you daily. Take some time today to give thanks for all he is has done in your life. Tell the enemy to back off and that you are not his child and do not serve him. He must flee. Have a wonderful weekend!!

Dear God,

Thank you for being truth. Thank you for loving me far beyond what I deserve . Thank you for all of the amazing blessings in my life. Help me to see the truth and to recognize lies. Amen.

Tough Cookie

"...For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them." (Matthew 13:14-15)

Calloused- having calluses; having skin made tough and thick through wear, toughened, emotionally hardened, unfeeling

How many of us can say that we have tough skin? A tough cookie? Life has dealt us an unfair hand of cards and we have stood up to it and nothing can get through to us anymore. People have hurt us too much in this life so instead of moving forward, we have become paralyzed and accepted the fact that we would rather live life alone than getting hurt again. I am sure that a lot of us are guilty of saying, "Never again."

But have we also unknowingly said "never again" to God? I know that for a long time I blamed God for all the bad things that happened in my life. My heart was so hard that there was no way I could ever understand the deep love He has for me. I wanted no one to come near and get close to me and definitely not a God who had created me only to put me through misery, or so I thought. Man, I was wrong. I had laid my heart on the line time and time again for people only to get rejected so then how could the God of the entire universe accept me and love me for who I am?

Jesus was vulnerable. Vulnerability is part of becoming Christlike. He has put everything on the line for us. Will you accept Him? He laid it all down on the cross and he just wants us to accept his love. To love him. Could it be that our deepest fear of not being loved could become our biggest triumph if we could just lay it down at the cross? After all, Jesus came to save us but also heal our broken hearts. The callouses we have on our heart are there to keep us from not getting hurt again. But there is a better way.

Let Jesus heal your heart. Ask him to give you a new heart. A heart transformed by the power of a loving Savior. "And I shall give them one heart, and shall put a new spirit within them. And I shall take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep My ordinances, and do them. Then they will be My people, and I shall be their God."  (Ezekiel :19-20) Softening your heart often involves breaking the resistant parts... so if there is pain, continue to hang tight to Jesus. You are asking for your heart to feel again. He will carry you through the pain. Blessings!!

Jesus,
Thank you for dying for my sins but also coming to heal my wounds. I want to let you heal my heart, I don't want to be cold anymore. Renew in me a new spirit hungry for you. Amen.

Metamorphosis

Here goes nothing. I used to be a drug addict. And an alcoholic. And a sex addict. And a people abuser. I would manipulate people into getting what I want. And a violent person, to walls mostly, but one time I threw a beer bottle at someones head because they wouldn't let me sleep in their bed. I want to let you know that no matter how far you have went, God is able to make all things new.

Here is the story of my drowning life and how Jesus walked on water to come get me....
First of all I would like to say that I was raised in church. My whole life I knew alot about Jesus but nothing about being in a relationship with him. People always ask how I got to where I was when I was raised the way I was but Jesus was a stranger to me, like a beautiful place you can talk about but don't really know until you see it face to face. Being raised in church also means nothing when your parents divorce when you are 14 years old and also move to a new public school when you have been sheltered your entire life. My morals changed gradually and I was sinking a little bit further ever day until September 2011.

 Two weeks after my 25th birthday I started to get really sick. I had been in a severely abusive relationship with a guy I had no business being with and he had finally decided to break up with me. He was a drug dealer and had gotten me on any and every pill you can imagine. I know I was the one taking the pills but without access to them, I never would have taken the strong pain medications that normally people who are dying of cancer take to keep them from the pain. My pain felt worse than that.. because anyone who has been spiritually sick knows heartbreak is so much worse than even a physical death. I can now say I know both because on September 21st 2011, I almost died. I was throwing up for twenty four hours straight and started to throw up foam so I went into the emergency room and was immediately given iv's and the doctors were puzzled as to my condition. It took four people on both sides of me to find a vein to start getting fluids in me and one of the first things the doctors gave me was a shot of my favorite pain pill. YES. First of all, I thought if I admitted all the pills and drugs I was taking, I was going to be sent to rehab. I never thought that I might not walk out of that hospital. I was also not thinking clear enough to realize that the urine samples and bloodwork would tell the truth. After my ultrasound, my doctor came in and asked if I drank alot. In reality, I didn't drink anymore than anyone my age. I said no and he said that he was confused because my liver was failing. I had liver failure at the age of 25. I then remembered I had gotten a tattoo 3 days before that said "Guard your heart" and asked if that had anything to do with my liver. He said Hep C which affects your liver could be from a dirty needle from a tattoo (thanking God that didn't end up being the case) I then came clean with my doctor about my drug use and he said that the drugs had probally been cut with something my body didn't agree with and had caused my liver to fail. I was put in the ICU and that is about all I remember.

"She needs a liver transplant and even with one she only has a 50 percent chance of surviving. Without one, she won't make it." That is how sick I was, my poor mother. I feel so terrible for everything my crazy ways have done to her but I hope my life now will make up for it. Thankfully she is one of the most Holy spirit filled women I have ever met and she has been prophesied over that she has the gift of healing. She laid her hands on me and prayed over me that whole week. 

But we all know how sometimes things get much worse before they get better. Ever pray for something and it seems like it would be impossible for your situation to turn around? God works like that a lot because he wants you to know that it was all him, it had to have been a miracle.

We were in the process of looking for a liver that would match for the whopping price of 1.2 million dollars but I got denied the match program from UCLA after they saw I had drugs in my system. Apparently money doesn't talk when there are other more well behaved candidates. Let me just say this one thing, I immediately fell into Jesus' loving arms throughout this whole experience. I have never felt so at peace as I did when I needed him the most. He is kind in that way that he doesn't care how long you have been away from him, when you need him, he is there and really he never left. Sometimes it takes seeing how bad things are without him to realize how much you really do need him in your life. And I needed my Jesus. My Jesus. MY JESUS.

 I remember thinking "God, if that is how you want me to go, then just get it over with". But no, he wanted to give me a miracle so I would be a living testimony of his never ending grace and love.  The doctors came in and started to say things were turning around. Every day, I started confessing that I was going to be better. A week from when the doctors started telling me I was going to die, I walked out of the hospital 100 percent healthy. My liver miraculously started working again. The doctors were in shock. God gave me a miracle. When everyone else says it can't be done, God says Yes it can. And after I walked out of that hospital, I was never the same. I can't be because I was touched by Grace himself and I will forever live my life testifying to his great love.

No, it's not "its not over till the fat lady sings" because unless God is that fat lady, "it's not over till God says, it is finished" and he is not finished with me yet and has in fact just began. 

 I am alive today because we have a God who is pouring Grace all over us. If you want to know this God that I am speaking about, give your life to him and begin to let him transform you. 
Pray this as you give your life to him, "Dear God, I repent of all of my ways. I want to know you. I want to seek your heart. I want to know your heart. I believe that you saved me. I am ready to walk my new life with you. Amen." Buckle up, its gonna be one heck of a journey!!!!

“Baptism separates the tire kickers from the car buyers.”  ~ Max Lucado

If the above quote is true, then I am officially a car buyer. Sunday was my one year anniversary with rededicating my life to God after many years of going my own way. Honestly, I was raised in church but never really understand the depth of God's love for me because had I known, I never would have strayed from my shepherd. I was baptized as a little girl but I don't even remember and shouldn't something as important in your walk with God be a memory worth keeping? I decided to get baptized again last minute after I felt God tugging on my heart strings. But something was trying to hold me back from listening to God's still quiet voice.

 

 "There is noone here to support you." "You have no friends." "Wait until you are around people who love you." Shut up devil. I was halfway to my car even though I brought everything I needed to get baptized when I remembered that being obedient and putting my faith in action is what it is all about. It had nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with my God and me. I turned around and found myself taking off my shoes and jacket and getting in line with everyone else. I know that it was something God wanted me to do because the devil was trying so hard to convince me otherwise. I was so nervous.I stepped in the water and honestly, I don't really remember much. I have no idea how I got underwater, what was said, and if I watched a video, it would be like I was watching it for the first time. 

 

But I did it. And that's what God looks at, if we care less about what others think than what he thinks. He looks at our heart. And on Sunday, I felt him saying "Way to go my daughter, I am pleased with you." And that is more important to me than anything in this whole entire world. Challenge accepted.... and completed. High five for Jesus.

 

 

Dear God,

 

Help us to listen to your voice above anything else. We want your will in our lives. We want to be obedient and please you. We love you. Amen.