“Baptism separates the tire kickers from the car buyers.”  ~ Max Lucado

If the above quote is true, then I am officially a car buyer. Sunday was my one year anniversary with rededicating my life to God after many years of going my own way. Honestly, I was raised in church but never really understand the depth of God's love for me because had I known, I never would have strayed from my shepherd. I was baptized as a little girl but I don't even remember and shouldn't something as important in your walk with God be a memory worth keeping? I decided to get baptized again last minute after I felt God tugging on my heart strings. But something was trying to hold me back from listening to God's still quiet voice.

 

 "There is noone here to support you." "You have no friends." "Wait until you are around people who love you." Shut up devil. I was halfway to my car even though I brought everything I needed to get baptized when I remembered that being obedient and putting my faith in action is what it is all about. It had nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with my God and me. I turned around and found myself taking off my shoes and jacket and getting in line with everyone else. I know that it was something God wanted me to do because the devil was trying so hard to convince me otherwise. I was so nervous.I stepped in the water and honestly, I don't really remember much. I have no idea how I got underwater, what was said, and if I watched a video, it would be like I was watching it for the first time. 

 

But I did it. And that's what God looks at, if we care less about what others think than what he thinks. He looks at our heart. And on Sunday, I felt him saying "Way to go my daughter, I am pleased with you." And that is more important to me than anything in this whole entire world. Challenge accepted.... and completed. High five for Jesus.

 

 

Dear God,

 

Help us to listen to your voice above anything else. We want your will in our lives. We want to be obedient and please you. We love you. Amen.

The song of your heart

Ever had a particular song stuck in your head? You wake up with a song that it seems like your spirit is crying out? Today I had a song stuck in my head and really just the melody but I didn't think too much into it. I am going to be real and honest here because I believe in me being vulnerable with people who read this, it enables them to be vulnerable and open with God. My heart is broken and it hurts so I have been bearing my soul to Jesus. My facebook status is even reflecting what is going on in my life...

"After Jesus experienced the worst heartbreak of all time, where the people he loved nailed him to a tree while he looked at us in the eye and said "I love you", he could have stayed in that tomb but he got back up and rose despite everything that had happened. Moral of this story: Jesus lives in you and he got back up and you can too!!! ♥." 

As I was driving to meet with my small group of kids I work with at the Dream Center, the song kept playing in my head so I put it on and then realized the lyrics went right with what has been going on all day for me.....

"The Victory"
 On a hill Your blood was spilled
Your brow, Your hands, Your feet
With nails and thorns the veil was torn
To make a way for me, You made a way for me.

[Chorus:]
Jesus, Savior, my God, my King, my Lord
Jesus, Savior, the victory is Yours.

Wrapped and bound, they laid You down
A perfect sacrifice
But in three days, the stone was rolled away
Forever You're alive
Forever You're alive

[Chorus:]
Jesus, Savior, my God, my King, my Lord
Jesus, Savior, the victory is Yours
The victory is Yours

Death has been beaten
The grave has been conquered
Jesus is risen
Life ever after

I became overwhelmed by tears because I know what he was telling me, "I have already won your battles for you my child, the victory is mine, the three days are over and its time to rejoice." I then heard his voice say "Look at the sun" and there was a church's perfect steeple cross surrounded by the light from the gorgeous sunset. WOWZERS. Sometimes I can't even handle his love and how much he knows how to love me just the right way. I needed him more than ever today and he totally blew me away by his constant faithfulness and unfailing love. Jesus, the only thing I need is more of you. Thank you for showing up today and being the song in my heart.

Jesus, 
 I need you more than ever. Help me to realize daily how much you are the only thing I need and that you will never leave me or forsake me. You are always with me, every step of the way and I want to thank you for giving me the Holy Spirit to sing your song in my heart. Amen.


 

Passing the Test

Who can straighten what he has made crooked? When times are good, be happy; When times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. (Ecclesiastes 7:13-14)

Anyone ever thank God when you are in the midst of a test or trial? Yeah right, why would I thank God when something bad is happening? Well in the above verse, the author tells us that God makes the bad days as well as the good. Our God is interested in our heart issues, in our attitudes. Of course it is easy to praise God when things are good but it is so easy to blame him when things aren't going exactly the way we think it should. But he plans out our course, he knows what is and was going to happen in our lives before they happened and he with us in the midst of our battles.

He wants good things for us but sometimes he has to shake things up a bit to get our heart in the right shape and the right beat and that is the beat and shape of HIS heart. 

Jesus had the very best heart of anyone who ever walked this earth. He came to this earth knowing he had a mission. There were a lot of people who disagreed with what Jesus was doing AND he still carried out the plan set before him. Not once did Jesus question God or complain about his life. He just said, "Here I am, what can I do?," and God gave him the most important assignment in all of creation... to save us from eternal damnation. It begins to make me think that if we began to praise God in the midst of storms and quit questioning God for what is happening in our life, we might just begin to see God use us in even bigger ways than we could have ever thought. 

We are Not trying to Please men but GOD, who TESTS our HEARTS." (1 Thes. 2:4)

But he has to test us to see who will pass the test. The greatest thing about this is that he is actually the one who will fight this battle for you if you let him. Just sit back, praise and trust him, and watch him amaze you. He knows what is going on in your life. He is the creator of the map of your life. He is the creator of the beginning. Can you imagine? No, you cannot. Our God is so amazing that we can't even begin to wrap our fingers on just how incredible he really is... Our God sends us tests so that he can fight for us and win for us if we keep our hearts pure and our attitudes Christlike. I vow to have a heart of Christ as trials are sent my way.

"He who OVERCOMES shall be CLOTHED in WHITE GARMENTS, and I will NOT Blot out (Erase) his Name from the BOOK OF LIFE; but I will CONFESS his name before My Father and before His Angels." (Rev. 3:5)

 God is giving us a chance to be overcomers. Just like Jesus. Jesus was given the biggest battle ever given to a man and he passed the test. And you know what happened. He overcame the world and rose from the dead on the third day. How is that for a happy ending?! Jesus wasn't just an extreme case of what could happen but he is THE example of what will happen if we let God simply be God. We can't lose with him as the fighter of our wars. He is giving us a chance at eternal life. He is giving us a chance to have our name written in the book of life. I think today and everyday, I will praise him for the tests he sends my way, because he is the teacher of the class, and he has already given us the answers, he is giving us the opportunity for extra credit and our passing grade will get us a field trip to sit with him on the right side of the throne as his chosen people. Our God rocks. The end.

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to live forever for you in eternity. You have already overcame the world and want to fight my battles for me, you just want my heart to stay pure and trust that you really do win every. single. time. Thank you for sending me battles that have already been won. I love you and am so grateful for all the blessings in my life. In Jesus name, AMEN.

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have Peace. In the WORLD you will have TRIBULATION; but be of Good Cheer, I have OVERCOME the WORLD." (John 16:33)

"God withdrew from Hezekiah in order to TEST HIM and to see what was REALLY in his Heart." (2 Chron 32:31)

"Since he himself (JESUS) as gone through SUFFERING AND TESTING, He is able to help us WHEN WE ARE BEING TESTED."(Hebrews 2:18)

Jesus makes you sparkle

I want every person, specifically women, to know that you are not alone. We all struggle with feeling not worthy enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not sophisticated enough. Not holy enough. Not kind enough. Not skinny enough. Not organized enough. Aughhhhhh! All of the pressures in life are enough to make a person go crazy. And you know what all these fears really are? Distractions. Distractions from keeping you focused on eternal things... cause if you are worried about that zit on your face, how would you be able to notice the look in a fellow coworkers eye that desperately needs someone to notice her? Or if you are so worried about your fashion choices, you spend the time you should be spending with Jesus to search the internet for fashion blogs that feature clothes you could never afford. The cycle is a never ending one because the next day you still haven't set your eyes on Jesus, and the zit is still there, and you still can't find an outfit for the weekend because you still feel fat and still can't afford the fashion bloggers outfit suggestions. There is nothing you can do about any of that!


Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. (1 Peter 3:3-4)

The only things that matter in God's sight is what can't be seen with the eye. He cares about your heart. Any time I am not focusing on Jesus, I tend to start picking myself apart and become an extremely selfish woman. I start to see flaws NOONE else sees and begin to play the comparison game. I am in the entertainment business so playing the comparison game is a death trap. Cause who likes to see an unconfident actress or pageant girl? Gross! And that is exactly what our enemy wants. He wants me to be so unconfident that I hide the woman God created me to be.. because acting like someone I am not and getting rejected is easier than the real me exposing herself and coming up short.

OR IS IT?!

The devil is a liar because being who you are called to be in Christ Jesus is the biggest threat to darkness. Because a true beauty is a candle in a dark world.  Because a beautiful strong confident woman is everything he is not... Because any of kind of real beauty is in fellowship with God. And that is one big problem for him. A woman who knows who she is in Christ Jesus and doesn't let fear keep her from being vulnerable to others is a very beautiful thing. I actually am feeling more beautiful just writing this blog and letting others see Jesus shine through me. You will never come up short when you focus on Jesus and let him be the source of your beauty.

You know that woman at church who has that twinkle in her eye? It is the twinkle of a cross shining in her eye. A cross that a man who was perfect in every way died for her and she knows it. She knows Jesus pursues her daily and she isn't afraid to let others see who she really is and offers herself daily to others. She is a woman who knows she is passionately and wildly loved by God. She is the apple of his eye and it shows in her eyes as well!!! Jesus makes her sparkle and he can you too!!!!

Jesus,
I want to shine from the inside out because you live in my heart. I am sorry for hiding myself and ask for your help to make myself more vulnerable to others. I am more than enough because your spirit lives in me and I am made in the image of you. Help me to see what you see and to not hide who you have called me to be. Amen.
 
 You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. (Song of Solomon 4:7)

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.(Proverbs 31:30)

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16)

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Psalm 34:5)

NO LIMITS

I have witnessed a miracle in my life. A real miracle. I was given a death sentence and God breathed life back into me. It was an obvious sign of Gods unfailing grace and I try to constantly thank him for his goodness. But sometimes I lose sight of who he really is. It is crazy to think that someone who has experienced him on a life or death level could ever forget exactly what God is capable...which is anything and everything that HE wants to do. I worry about my safety while driving to work.  I worry about my budding relationship and what will happen if it doesn't work out. I worry about people in my life and their safety. My life is a big bubble of worry. This has to disappoint God so much. Its like he parted the Red Sea for me and delivered me from Egypt and I am still wondering if he is capable of doing the things he already has done, Why does God have to prove himself to us time and time again but we never prove ourselves to him? Why can't we trust him?

He's got me. 

He will catch me if I fall. 

So.... what if I stumble, if I mess up big time? He knows we need him. He wants us to come to him and rely on him. Everything that happens in your life is an opportunity for God to show up. And when he shows up, he SHOWS up.  In a world of so many uncertainties, there is only thing that is certain, God will always be there. He is and wants to be your constant. I have to pray everyday for God to give me faith to really trust him. Im not talking about faith that Ill make it to the bathroom on time when I am sitting in traffic for over an hour and I really got need to go though that is always nice, I am talking about faith that sees someone in a wheelchair get up before my eyes, faith that he has my life planned out for me and completly trusting his ways, faith that moves mountains. I want faith that moves mountains. But the thing about that kind of faith is that it has to come from him. We need his faith in order to trust in him. Crazy huh?

This is such a crazy concept but my creator knows what I need. He knows what it takes to sustain life and he will provide. He will protect. He has proven faithful time and time again. What more do I need? Psalm 78 seems like it could be a transcript from my life, maybe many of yours as well. "They forgot what he had done, the wonders he had shown them...They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved. The spoke against God saying "Can God spread a table in the desert? When he struck the rock, water gushed out, and streams flowed abundantly. But can he also give us food? Can he supply meat for his people?" When the Lord heard them he was very angry...Yea, they turned back and tempted God, and limited the Holy One of Israel." God had led the Israelites from Egypt and had promised "a land of milk and honey", yet they were unable to trust him and several of them never got to see the wonderful promises of God because they limited him. Limiting God is saying that you know better than what he has planned for you. I do not want to miss out on God's promised land for my life. I want God things in my life. "I came so that they may have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of." 

 I want to live in a constant state of amazement and thankfulness that my life is full of Gods penmanship on my map of life.

Dear God,

I am so sorry if I have limited you. I trust that you know what's best for me and that nothing is impossible with you as my contractor. I Thank you for everything I have in my life and for loving me so well. You amaze me everyday. Help me have faith that can move mountains. Amen.










 

 "Everything will be fine, just give me everything you have first."

Ok. Sometimes I think God is crazy. Honestly. "You want me to do what?!". This morning I am reading 1 Kings 17:8-16 which is about the widow who helped Elijah. God had told Elijah to go to a city where he would see a widow in that town who would give Elijah food. He asked her for water and then for some bread and she replied that she didn't have but just enough to make dinner for her and her son that night. Afterwards, they would starve. Elijah told her that everything was going to be okay and to go do exactly what she planned but first to make him some bread. God had promised that she wouldn't run out of flour or oil before he sent his rain. She was obedient and as a result, it says that she and Elijah and her family had enough food for a very long time.

I question why God wants me to do something.  He never really argues with me much but just gives me a simple "trust me".  He set up the widow woman that she was exactly in the right place at the right time. He knew it was the last of what she had and he still asked for it. How long do you think God had set up this divine appointment? "For I know the plans I have for you...." (Jeremiah 29:11). God knows things we don't know. And even though we know that our creator knew us before he even formed us (Jeremiah 1:5), we still question his plans for us cause they seem like too much.

Do you ever feel like you don't have anymore to give? I know for me, this is more about giving me to others more than things I have running out. I sometimes feel like I am pulled in 100 directions and I just can't do it anymore. "I am so tired, do I really have to go work with the kids at youth group tonight?" "I really really don't want to meet that friend even though I know she is having a rough time." "Why do I always have to be nice all the time?" "Everyone expects me to be perfect and I really want to just scream." AHHH. It goes on and on.

One thing I have realized is that just when I feel like I am about to run out of me, God fills me up with him. This is so backwards, it takes a lot of faith and trust. When I am obedient and go do things that I know he wants me to do even though they feel at the time will break me, he reminds me of his faithfulness that he is my God and he is with me. That when I am weak he is strong. That he will never leave me or forsake me.

“And Moses said, This is the thing which the LORD commanded that ye should do: and the glory of the LORD shall appear unto you” (Leviticus 9:6). Trusting that God knows what he is doing often is the very thing that brings me back to that closeness with God. You know what I mean, when you can sense his presence so strong in your quiet time and he is rocking your face off cause he is breathing on it so hard. I would do ANYTHING for that, I mean anything. And just the reminder to know that when I am almost empty, that he will always come through and bless me beyond measure, to have that hope that his presence will be overflowing in my life, I keep running the race set before me. I am not perfect. I don't always listen when I should but then sometimes I do. God teaches me something new everyday. We should be in constant improvement and being molded by the master sculptor.

 "If we allow Him, God will take us to that place where there is no one else to help us but Him"
-Camille Fronk, lecture on Women in the Scriptures, Brigham Young University, 2005

There has never been a time that I have decided to go to church or do something for God or another person that I have regretted it. NEVER. Those times when you don't want to go to church but go anyways? In my experience, they have been the most spirit filled services. My face is streaming with tears. Because God is literally overflowing out of me. God amazes me and shows me that if I can overcome that bit of self that wants to do things my way, he will reward me for doing things his way.

 Less of Rachel, more of God.

Love is....

1 John 4:16

God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

God is Love therefore God never fails. I love 1 Corinthians 13 because it is the vision of what a perfect love should look like and is like. I am such a huge fan of this verse that I have a wall decal that says love never fails above my head when I sleep. One prayer I have had alot of lately is that I want my Father's heart. I want to love like he loves. I want to love so much it hurts and then love some more. My heart to be so wrapped up in his we are one. This verse teaches us how to love. I have said and read this verse more times than I can remember but I realized I didn't know what it really meant. So I broke it down and used a thing called the dictionary (some ancient book prehistoric people used) and found the definitions of what all these character traits are that ultimately define our loving God's heart. Here is what I found.

Love is patient-Being capable of calmly awaiting an outcome or result, Not hasty or impulsive, Bearing or enduring pain, Annoyance WITH calmness, Persevering, Constant

Love is kind- Friendly or generous nature, Humane, Considerate, Agreeable, Beneficial, Charitable.

It does not envy- Envy is feeling of discontentment and resentment aroused in conjunction with desire for the possessions or qualities of another.

It does not boast-Talk in a self admiring way, to glorify oneself in speech

It is not proud- Showing or feeling excessive self esteem, feeling pleasurable satisfaction over a relationship which one measures their self worth

It is not rude- Abruptly and unpleasantly forceful, ill mannered, discourteous

It is not self seeking- Pursuing only ones own ends or interests

It is not easily angered- Strong feeling of displeasure or hostility

It keeps no record of wrongs-Forgives and moves on like it never happened.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS....To be unsuccessful, to cease functioning properly, to abandon, forsake, to leave undone, neglect, to prove disappointing, undependable, to weaken, to fade away.


LOVE NEVER FAILS. LOVE NEVER FAILS. LOVE NEVER FAILS. Love always succeeds. Love always works. Love always finishes what is set before them. Love is always there. Love is always dependable. Love always strengthens. I have found whenever I really stop and ask myself if I am being loving and then if I question it, I break it down. Am I being patient? Am I being kind? Am I really thinking of someones elses feelings before me? I almost always get a positive result. Being like this isn't complete human nature though. We have to work at it and more importantly, ask God to help us. I totally can see God's hand present in situations where normally I would have a freak out moment or say something I regret or just be plain selfish... For anyone who knows me, I am a stubborn, passionate, and sometimes fiery woman- not really a good mix to be loving in tough situations. But through the grace of God, I am able to hold my tongue more effectively and even apologize for things I have done. Love is not proud. Love doesn't bring up old arguments. Love says "forget about it, its over". Love is so patient it hurts. Love is not easy, but always worth it.

And now remains Faith, Hope, Love,
these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

The good news is that we don't have to love others on our own. Because honestly we would all suck at it. Real talk. God gave us an example of love that is so strong and powerful, if we could love others with even a tiny portion of that love, we are doing alright. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son". God loved me so much that he gave his son. That is so intense. He must really really love me. In despite of all the terrible things I do and have done, which he already knew because it says he knew me before he even formed me, despite of all of that, he still sent his innocent son to die so that we may come live with him in eternity. Why does he love us so much? Because love sees the best in someone. When we choose to see someone as God sees them, its easy to love them. God sees potential and the person we will become, not who we were or are... He forgets about the past and looks to the future. A future with the best possible version of me or you. Start looking at others with a hope and potential filter and love will start to pour out of you. Others will respond. Then we can all live in a world with rainbows and sunshine. And who doesn't want more rainbows and sunshine? 

Dear God, 
Help us to love each other the way you have loved us, to forgive as you have forgiven, and to see the best in others just like you see the best in us. Amen.  


If I spoke in different languages of men and even of angels,
without love,
my voice would be like that of a clanging cymbal.
And I may have the gift of prophecy,
and understand all the mysteries of heaven,
and know all the knowledge of the earth,
and though I may have so much Faith that I could move mountains,
without love,
I am nothing.
And I may give all that I own to feed the poor,
and I may give my body to be burned,
but if I have no love,
it profits me nothing.

LOVE NEVER (EVER EVER) FAILS