He is love

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

ALL things? It's in the Bible and I trust God enough that if it is in that book, it must be the truth. Romans 8:28 is the verse that kind of gives me hope when things are seeming not so great. I recently went through my first trial as a Christian. I honestly thought that once you submitted to Christ, your life would be rainbows and butterflies. Its been almost two months and I was embarassed to talk about at first, but I know God wants me to share because other people might be going through similar things but in a nutshell (drumroll please), I got dumped. I didn't just get dumped, I got rejected. I don't know if anyone remembers but I had posted on my facebook that I had found a man better than Notebook Noah and he was coming to visit me in a few days. Here is the catch...we had never met.

A heartbreak hotel

Jonah (not his real name) and I had mutual friends and started communicating after he saw a picture of me on facebook and asked about me. A few months earlier, my girlfriend had mentioned him and that he had been praying for a wife for a long time and I would be his perfect girl. My heart did a little leap inside when she said his name and to this day was one of the weirdest things I have ever experienced. I got butterflies from hearing his name before I even knew what he looked like or anything! We became facebook friends and emailing each other till he asked for my number and we started talking on the phone. Our first phone conversation was wonderful. We talked about Christ and at the end of the call, he asked if we could pray together! A spiritual leader is my number one quality in looking for a husband so he passed the test.

We began to talk every day for several hours. I loved his voice and talking about God and our days together. I shared my whole life story with him and told him everything about me. He didn't seem to care and was okay that I have a rough past. I am still working on some insecurities from previous abuse but he seemed to deal with me well which is something I wasn't used to and definately thought God's hand was blessing our relationship.

 Jonah was a huge romancer and charmer. He would call me every morning or text, before I was awake, and bless my day or tell me how beautiful I was- what kind of girl doesn't love to hear that? I was falling hard for him and he would drop hints that he was too. It felt like I was going to explode if I didn't tell him I loved him but I wanted to let him be the first one to say it because I am so scared of not being loved back. It's so weird that it's my biggest fear but happens the most to me. I forgot to mention that Jonah lived in another state and is a citizen of another country which fed my wedding mania as I didn't want to see him get deported. A few weeks before we met, he told me he was in love with me and I obviously said I felt the same way. Both of us were a little scared because we had never met but knew that it is what is in the heart that counts, after all we aren't gonna be so good looking in twenty years. We began to plan our life together and talked about our wedding and future children and I started looking for rings. I found my dream guy and we were gonna get married! Yay!!

She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them. (Hosea 2:7)

Until....

 We met and everything changed when he came here. I know everyone said it before and warned me, but being with someone in person IS different than talking to them on the phone. For one, we had talked so much on the phone that we didn't even know what to say and I felt so much pressure knowing he was going to be my husband that I couldn't think of the right words to say, it was so frustrating. We spent the whole first day together and that evening we had a bbq at my friends house. He was being a bit standoffish but just figured he was tired but I also couldn't ignore my high hyper sensitivity to other peoples emotions so I asked him to come talk to me on the porch and that's when my dream came crashing down. "I think we rushed into things and made a mistake. When we fasted and prayed, I didn't feel peace, I should've listened to God."

WHAT? So now its God's fault? I ran into the house and into a bedroom and broke down. I was confused and hurt and mad. I was mad that I had been following God and actually seeking a Christian man and now I was hurt more than I had ever been. Why didn't he protect me? Why was I doing so well in my Christian walk and now more confused than ever?  The next few days Jonah waivered back and forth and we were seemingly together when he left and I dropped him off at the airport. Then the next day, I received a message in my facebook inbox, "I am praying for your husband to arrive". So I guess that means we aren't together? I didn't even want to be in a relationship. He pursued me. He seeked me out. And now I was the one that looked like a fool.

The week he was in town was really hard but then the most beautiful thing happened... I saw God for everything he is and was. A comforter in times of need. Prince of Peace. A lover. My restorer. I was so broken in that time, it felt like I finally was able to give everything over to God and surrender. God is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). I think that is true because when you are broke you are empty of you and God is able to fill you up with him. I also began to believe what God says about me rather than what every man I had carelessly let into my life had said. The weeks leading up to now I can truely say that I am the most loved woman on earth.

His love never fails. I never really understood how much he loved me until I had been broken by one of his own. I am beginning to know that this is why this heartbreak happened, to make me fall in love with my first true love all over again. He wanted me to be in a barren and quiet place so I would be alone with only him. Its kind of amazing when you think that the God who created the world loves you so much he wants to be alone with just you. WOW. I am loved. I am needed. I am pursued.

Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her.
There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will sing as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt (2:14-15, NIV).

Hi, so I have pretty much known I was a princess all my life. I don't know if it was that I watched all the Disney movies and just really thought I was Cinderella or what but when Princess Diana died, at the age of 12, I went into an odd stage of mourning. I had no clue until I was sitting on the counter watching my mom cook breakfast that my life would be changed as she told me the news of Princess Di. I didn't know there were actual real princesses so I wanted to know everything about her and my family kind of fed into my whole royalty obsession.

 Every magazine was bought for me with Princess Diana or the royal family, I clipped the articles and pictures out and made a memorabilia box. I almost wish I was kidding. But I am not. I had a box filled with hundreds of articles and pictures of her and would spend my day listening to Elton John's "Candle in the Wind" made especially for Princess Diana's funeral. I even thought I was going to marry Prince William. Seriously. I asked my family about our heritage and my Grandmother told me that we were royalty in England. I wasn't even a commoner, I had a chance to become a true Princess once and for all! Until....

Kate Middleton. She screwed that all up for me. I watched her marry Prince William and watched my dreams shatter as I realized that I would never be a Princess married into the royal family and eventually Queen of England. Why do little girls and women love the idea of being a princess so much? I believe I know the reason why, well at least for me....

The Bible says we are co-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:16,17). In our deepest hearts, we long for Princess identity because we ARE Princesses. Our daddy is a King. We are the Bride of Christ. Through his blood, we are married into the greatest royalty. Also, wanna know why we long for a Prince on a white horse to come save us? Oh yeah, that's in the Bible too. Rev 19:11 describes Jesus as a warrior on a white horse. Our childhood fantasies for "living happily ever after" and riding off into the sunset after being fought for are actually a revelation of who we really are in Christ.

So now that you know who you are, what's next? Get to know the rules of your country and who your father was and IS. Follow the rules, you are your country's greatest example. Speak and dress like a Queen. Fight for your country. You are a Princess Bride of Christ, embrace it!!!