Guard your heart

The ring was gorgeous! It was everything I had ever imagined. I was planning my wedding and getting married... Except I wasn't. Jake (name changed) had sent the ring via text message after "meeting" me 24 hours earlier on facebook. This should have been a warning sign that this guy wasn't going to be very careful with my heart but I didn't listen. Something about rings and weddings makes my heart beat a little faster as I am sure it does a lot of you unmarried gals. I gushed to my sister about this perfect man I had met and since she is the logical one, she thought this behavior was nuts and warned me that in the past, this kind of guy did nothing but destroy my heart. But I just brushed her advice off. I decided to drive to meet the guy 8 hours away so I could meet my future husband. He was going to be my husband, he was already looking at rings after all. I had a fairy tale weekend with him. I had butterflies more than half the weekend. He did everything right. He said everything right. And when I went home...nothing.

Everything changed. As a woman considering a long distance relationship, it is a necessary feeling that there is commitment in the relationship. But guys move slow. But I was confused cause the ring was moving fast. I expected a commitment after all the hours we had spent on the phone and the marriage talk and amazing time we spent with each other. He should know by now that I was the one. But somehow he didn't. He didn't want to commit to me. He didn't want to give me up but was okay with me seeing other people. I, on the other hand, had a sick feeling in my stomach to think of him going on a date with another person. And this imbalance of what the other person wanted resulted in me pushing him away as men hate pressure but women need commitment. I started behaving like an insecure woman and the (un)relationship ended.

My heart was not okay. Although I had only known the guy for a few weeks, I had already begun dreaming of our wedding. Because I am in my late twenties, I am very serious about marriage. I have a husband list and this guy exceeded everything. My heart had became attached to the idea of being Jake's girlfriend and maybe even wife. I was already in a relationship that had not even begun yet. I started to feel those heart pains that you feel when you know something is ending. The anxiety set in. I began questioning who I was. The enemy sure knows how to sneak his way in when you are feeling down. Don't let him. Fight back! But the great things about being a woman of God is that if you pour your heart out to God and lay your feelings on the altar before him, he always works things out for the good of his children. Always. So looking over that season, your heart is so valuable to your life. It is what pumps life through you not only physically but spiritually as well. GUARD YOUR HEART.

So here are some ways to Guard your heart:

1. Have realistic expectations at the beginning. It could happen but more than likely, no man is going to be madly in love with you in a few weeks. Feelings take time to develop. Yes, you are amazing and it is easy as woman to decide you want to be with someone but men need time. Give love a chance to grow.

2. Be aware of warning signs. A guy that says "I have commitment issues" has commitment issues. Most men do but if a man knows that and is warning you about his stuff, believe him. They are probably pretty bad. He is telling you for a reason. Another warning sign is a guy who moves too fast in the beginning. A guy who is so sold out about you without knowing you will probably slow down a little further down the road and as women, we have a natural tendency to fight that slow down of relationship pace. A man of God needs to be a man of his word so if he is making promises he can't keep or saying things that he doesn't mean, what kind of husband will he be?

3. Don't give all of yourself over to someone so soon. Let him discover who you are. If you share so much intimate talk and time with someone very quickly and it ends, you are left with a hole that shouldn't be there. Slow down.

4. Give them space. I say this but I am the worst at this. I know the few times I have been successful at giving space, it has worked tremendously in my favor.

5. Keep your dignity. You are a woman of God. Don't compromise the things you want in a relationship. If they aren't there, let him go. As women, it is easy for us to love anyone but let's be good to our hearts and only really risk them for someone we could see a future with. If the relationship does end, be filled with grace and dignity. Don't say things you don't mean. Wait a few days if you have to to get your emotions in check.

6. Keep God above everything. Make sure that he is still the keeper of your heart. Ask him for advice. Read his word for guidance. Surrender the guy over to God's will for both of your lives. You ultimately want to end up with the guy God chose for you so let God have his way!

I hope this encouraged someone. God bless!

Being a Finisher

Has anyone ever felt stuck in their life? You want so badly to move forward and be the woman of God you know in your deep gut you are but there is something holding you back? That no matter how hard you press in, you are still in the exact same place you were last month. I have felt like this recently and been really discouraged. I was praying to the Lord to move forward in my life and he gently gave me a reply- "Because you aren't a finisher." Ouch. Ok God. How do I become a finisher? 

"What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meet know all about this incredibly 

extravagant generosity of God." (Acts 20:24, MSG) 

1. Be faithful in the small things. I realized that I start tasks and do a lot of talking about my dreams and goals but never actually do anything about any of them. Even housework being half finished. So I made my bed. I started to do the dishes as soon as I used them. I didn't wait to take out the garbage three days later. I finished the last two minutes of my workout because I told myself I would do an hour of cardio and I am going to finish that hour of cardio. I started answering emails and texts as soon as I got them that would normally sit for a day before I would respond. It's not that waiting around to do these things is bad in itself, but the Lord has taught me and is teaching me that he is preparing me for a great future filled with advancing his kingdom, and if he can't trust me to finish dishes, how can he trust to use me to heal the hearts of the broken?

2. Make a daily to-do list. It sounds so simple but it is a great feeling when you can check things off that list. Go one step further and make a list of life long goals. I have a several long term goals that include my spiritual, personal, family, and ministry goals. It also is amazing because looking over that list, I am able to see how much God has moved on my behalf to help me accomplish those goals.

3. Tell people about your goals. Ask people to hold you accountable. It can one thing to fail yourself but to fail others is a different story.

4. Do everything you do as you are doing them unto the Lord. When I find myself trying to half-do something, I remind myself that everything I do can be worship to the Lord and to finish for him.

5. Remind yourself that Jesus was a finisher. The last words Jesus spoke on this earth before dying on the cross were "It is finished" (John 19:30). Not only that but he is continuing to do a good work in us that will be completed upon his return. Come on, the person you most want to be like is an amazing finisher!!

Be encouraged to keep running the race and not only running, but FINISHING! 

Why a breakup was the best thing that ever happened to me

Six months ago, I would not have agreed with the title of this article. My heart was broken. I had met the man of my dreams and he dumped me very harshly one unexpected night. For the next month, I couldn't eat, sleep, and all I wanted to do was cry. I wondered why God had let this happen and often cried out to him asking him why. Then one night I heard his gentle still voice say "I didn't do this to you, I did this for you." In that moment, I understood and trusted him that he had better plans for me. I began to thank God for loving me enough to protect me from anything he had not planned out for me even if it meant being hurt in the process. 

As my heart began to heal, God gave me a strength to carry on with my life. I learned what it meant for him to be the lover of my soul. He taught me the true definition of unconditional love. I was able to finally see the woman of God that God saw in me and to truly love myself. And today, six months later, I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. Sometimes you have to go through the fire to refine you and become the woman of God wants you to be. 

Here are 10 Bible verse that helped me get through one of the toughest seasons in my life:

1. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) This is such a comforting promise that the God of the entire world has a special plan for your life and not only is it a plan but hopeful plan filled with a future. 

2."I will be your God throughout your lifetime- until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you." (Isaiah 46:4) If he made me, he cares for me. 

3. "Men have not heard nor perceived by the ear, nor has the eye seen any God besides you, who acts for the one who waits for him. You meet him who rejoices and does righteousness." (Isaiah 64:4) Fear tries to creep in but I know that my God is ready to meet me as I wait for his plan for my life to unfold.

4.  "So we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18) These moments of hardship are temporary and prepare me to be more Christlike. I focus my eyes on eternal things, not momentary afflictions.

5. "The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17) God rejoices and loves me. His love brings still quietness to my soul. 

6. "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8) I am not alone and never will be because God will never leave me and no matter who walks out of my life, God will always remain by my side. 

7. "But those that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31) Something about the waiting produces a Godly strength. I want to be a strong Godly woman.

8. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) There is nothing that life can throw at me that I can't get through because the source of my strength is Christ.

9. "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) He didn't say that it was going to be easy. Life will be hard but because he lives in me, I am an overcomer too.

10. "Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are mine, When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you." (Isaiah 43:2) I am God's daughter and he won't let anything harm me. He will be with you through the rivers and fire of life and nothing will overtake me because he holds my hand. 

I hope this encouraged you. God is so good and faithful. He will never let you go!